You write me a long mail, and I write to you here before mailing back an actual reply. Funny how this is probably the more intimate reply when this is the one you will never even read.
You are missed.
I have said this a million times, a fraction of which I have even said directly to you - You were never just a teacher. Not even for a second. You have been the friend, the older brother, the parent-figure, the idol and the guide that one might always want. And I'm lucky I know you. I really am.
I have told you before that you've spoiled us. You've spoiled me. Raising my expectations incredibly high, so high that I could never find another teacher to teach me your subjects after you left the country. Well, as it turns out, you have spoiled me in many more ways and I'm only starting to realize it, one year and a two-third after you leaving.
You were one of ("one of" just to be extra-cautious) the funniest, craziest, most open-minded person I knew. You most definitely beat all the other grown-ups in each of that. And we all loved you for it. What I never fully realized before is how you managed to be all that WHILE also being one of the most mature, most sensible, and above all, most respectful.
I guess it's because of you that I have come to feel this way. I constantly keep thinking about how it was possible for you to be such a complete person, so effortlessly maintaining all these things that made you so incredible. I suppose that is why the bars are so greatly raised. And that is why I keep thinking how a person can be all of it at the same time. And that is why I often find myself being disappointed. Even with the almost-perfect ones.
Of course, I myself want to become like you before I start pointing my finger at others who, in my eyes, are failing to be so. I just wish you were here to be a constant reminder of what one can be all at the same time.
Thank you for sending me pictures of the beautiful autumn that you are having the fortune of witnessing at the moment. It is my favorite season. And it always feels good to know how life is for you. I just hope it is offering you everything you deserve.
Love,
B(h)uri. :)
