~ I Need Inspiration, Not Just Another Negotiation.

Dearest Preacherman,

You are missed. You know that, right?

You told me that you had to get a second copy because you lent the first and didn't think it was appropriate to go back to ask for it. As dumb as it sounds, I kept thinking this over and over the other day.
Now, I know it wouldn't go that way in my case because at least I'M nowhere near as sensible or mature as you must have been. But I considered it anyway. Several times.

Anyways, our shared time and space mean a lot to me, sir. So yeah. For you, maybe?

If you were to ever read this, you'd have no idea what I'm saying, would you? That saddens me now.
Well, maybe you'd guess. As the most arrogant friend of mine once said, your wisdom teeth were probably the first things to develop in the fetus.

You are missed. Always.

Love,

B(h)uri.

~ 'Cause Now You're Trying To Pick A Fight With Everyone You Need.

Why do this every time?

You're fragile, explosive. Silently explosive. The worst kind. I'm often afraid of you. Maybe not as much as others are, though. Well, you will get help if you ask for it. If you want something, you need to say it. If you don't want something, then you need to say that too.

Why make yourself go through this? What are you trying to get out of this? Or, more importantly, what are you trying to get away from?

Tell me. Tell us. Tell someone. Anyone. Somebody who might be able to help set this straight. Because, if you tell me that nothing's wrong now, I'll laugh. And you know you'll be lying too.

This wasn't how this is supposed to work. We had plans. Big plans. Long-term plans. Right?

If things are going to be like this, then why have I been seeing you as one of the people always present when I'm picturing my most important days? What was the point, then, of setting a place for you by default?

This sucks.

I miss you.

~ I Want To Make A Ray Of Sunshine And Never Leave Home.

Do you ever go through a time when you keep thinking of a specific person repeatedly? Whatever you do, whatever you see around you, the train of thoughts ultimately leads you to the same person?
Like, when your mom is talking to your dad about his job, and you remember the time your mom texted you to tell you about your dad's promotion, and then you think of how happy you were when you received that text, and that in turn makes you think of the person who was standing next to you at that moment.
Or when your dad sees something on TV and makes a childish joke and you all laugh, does that in some way take you back to a place, perhaps to the memory of a different joke? And do you find yourself once again thinking of that specific person? And do you freak out because it's a bit scary? And do you wonder if it's just you? And do you wish you weren't away? And wish you were just talking right then? Or something like that...