Chasing Cars. < Yes, that's the song. (H)

So, I'll keep this short.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! xD

Tuesday. <3

So, ummm, I just had a REALLY nice evening after a REALLY long time.

Okay, bye.

The Tide That Left And Never Came Back

For a few seconds, I had my friend back. It's not what you said, but the way you said it. Haha. :P
No, seriously, it was nice. And even if it was, like, just two sentences, it made me feel like you're still here, you know? =) And that was Infinite enough.
It would be wrong if I said I don't know what has happened ever since the last time I've felt like you were here. I know, you know, other people know what it was. But maybe it's just you and me who know exactly what it has been like. Or maybe even I don't know to the full extent. I'm not trying to tell you that it's fair. I'm just saying that, sometimes, it's just how things are.
Maybe you're being you now. Maybe who I used to know wasn't the genuine friend you really are, but it was definitely the person I had gotten used to. Maybe you have barriers around you now; not against me or anything, but just barriers in general. Hard to imagine, knowing you. But these happen. We've all felt the necessity to put these fences up from time to time. I had barriers too, several times in my life. I had barriers with you at a point, but they were for a different reason. Not to keep you out, I'm telling you. But just to keep you from wishing to reach here. It was important for you to retaliate and swing back. You did. And now I don't have to do anything. It just works out. So, that's great, I suppose. =)
Moments where I feel that you've always been here are good too. It has been long enough and now it's okay to feel positive about these random instants, instead of freaking out all the time. Well, there you go. Those two sentences of yours were powerful enough to bring me to this and lead me to directly address a blog post to you for the first time. (H)

Preachershock.

So, he returns home, stays undercover for a month, and then surprises us as soon as we're done with our exams. Who else could pull this off other than the very Preacherman? My vacation enthusiasm has been fully restored. It is scary though, to think of having another "End Transmission" at the end of August. Saying goodbye ONCE was heartbreaking enough. But, the truth is, I wasn't even expecting to see him in the next few years. It will be a true miracle to be able to see him again, hopefully next week. And I know there were times in the past four months when I felt like I'd do anything to see him once more time and just hear a few inspirational words. So, this is it. I feel Infinite.

Help Me Leave Behind Some Reasons To Be Missed?

There are people I love, appreciate and cherish. And they are amazing people. I find myself constantly seeing all the wonderful things about them and always hoping that others will do the same for them. But, when these very people cause me to feel inferior and make me look bad in front of others, it really sucks, even if they didn't really intend to cause any such effect. I'm not saying I've never faced this before, BUT THAT'S THE THING. I thought I had left those days far behind me. But, I suppose some things just find a way to catch up to you, in one form or another.

Californication?

There are certain people who, no matter how much they grow up, always remain a kid to you. And you wish that you could always keep them in a world where childish innocence is eternal. But you can't. And you're probably not even supposed to. But that doesn't stop you from wishing you could.

When I Left early This Year, How I Wound Up Here, Is Anyone's Guess.

So, today makes four such Tuesdays of this year so far. That's already four Tuesdays too many for me. There's no getting used to this, ever.

This. Here And Now. With you.

The night before the last was a sleepless one. I was listening to this nice song by The Cure. And I thought of a lot of things. Mainly about how I often pick out the ancient negatives, choose to hold on and let those have the effects. It's pointless. I mean, WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER NOW? It doesn't. Not anymore, not at all. =) Nothing's going wrong now because of what ONCE happened. So, yes. I am a happy person. Because, life is beautiful.

Remembrance

So, I was watching this dumb show on TV. And somehow it reminded me of a movie that I watched before my O-levels exams last year. A Walk To Remember. I never really liked the movie. It was a bit too typical for my taste - Popular jock guy, nerdy girl; guy gets into some detention thing with the girl's club; he finds that she's different from all the cheerleaders he has dated; she keeps him at a distance at first; misunderstandings; opening up to each other - I mean, just how many movies have ALL that? And when the female protagonist gets a disease, it just HAS to be leukemia.
And the marriage part was a bit of a necrophilia in my opinion. But this I'd like to take back.
Well, the thing is, the movie did have really nice parts too. Like, all the wish fulfillment. And I was just thinking, I should watch it again. After my AS exams. Or, maybe during the exams. That sounds better, actually. =)

Hate Is A Strong Word, But I Really, Really, Really Don't Like You.

It was ages ago, but sometimes I can still see those two random, peering faces. And then I can see your face, oblivious to their presence. You knew they were there, didn't you? Yet, you chose to overlook. You didn't care. But I did. And God knows I went through hell for that. You're pathetic, you know? I'm sorry, but I can't always keep up this Oh-I-never-walked-in-your-shoes-so-I-will-still-have-respect.

Latitudes

Love and gratitude are two separate sentiments. Several times they come hand-in-hand, but they're still not the same thing. If people could always distinguish correctly between these two feelings, I think a lot of mistakes could be prevented, a lot of wrong decisions avoided and a lot of hearts left unhurt.

" Sad ."

I had lost a friend a few years ago and then got him back quite recently. It was quite Infinite. But I think I'm about to lose him again. Oh well. It was good while it lasted.

Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Sometimes, NO ONE gets it. And I'm not very used to this kind of thing 'cause I haven't faced much of it before. But I guess that's just how it is at times. And all you can do is try to keep going.

Uhh =/

I am SUCH a procrastinator. I had nine freaking months to study the biology syllabus. But I just HAD to start nine DAYS before the exams. And I had to push myself to finish it all in eight short days. I really don't know what to expect after this. But, well, the exam starts in a few hours. I just hope I can apply all that I HAVE learned last week. I hope I don't black out or something. May Allah help me and all those who are sitting for the exam today.

~ Like Coming Home, Like Coming Up For Air.

2013. Wow. Okay. I'll turn eighteen this October.

So, April just passed by. I have always been afraid of this month for a few reasons, all having to do with bad things happening. But, well, it was different this year, to say the least. I had the best month.
It was... divine.
Yes, that's what it was.
And now, as I type this post, I'm wondering - hey, this divinity, why was it once a bad thing again?
Well, now I know. It was never a bad thing. In fact, it is the best thing that has happened to me. Ever.

Do the right thing.

"Sometimes we know what to do. It's just that, we need someone to tell us what we refuse to tell ourselves." ~ Preacherman, 9th December 2012.

I miss him, really. With the exams THIS close, less than a week away ( okay, just FIVE FREAKIN' DAYS away), I REALLY need him to tell me what I must do. I mean, I KNOW, but it makes all the difference when he speaks to me. I wish he was around, to preach. He still does, obviously, but sometimes he's just so terribly out of reach in the instants when I need him the most. And I know that a lot of people are feeling the same way right now.
Anyways, despite everything, I hope you're having the time of your life, Preacherman. =)