I'm happy.
No, not in the hey-I'm-happy-right-now kind of way. I'm just.. HAPPY. In general. Over all.
~ "And nothing else matters." ~
Monday, April 29, 2013
Saturday, April 27, 2013
And, again, it's time for it to flash back.
I keep getting those memory flashes. I always did, but right now it actually bothers me. It has been so for the past few days. Staying on my own for the majority of the time isn't helping at all. This is no big surprise or anything, but it simply sucks. It has been catalyzed by a number of other things. I had a very ridiculous, funny conversation with my cousin the other day, where she brought up a lot of things in the most joking manner. I laughed along during the conversation. But, all of it started flooding back to me later on, the next day. I had sort of forgotten quite a few of the dumb details until all that was talked about again. Worse than the conscious thoughts are the fragments of the nightmares I have. They not only involve those times, but also the possible effects of those times on the present and future. This part is a new addition made this year. It's terrifying.
I know this is just a matter of a few days and then it will be over for a very long time. So, I'm not over-worrying or anything. But the timing is really bad, you know? Right before exams. Always. Well, of course. Anyways, I'll get by just fine. That I know. But still, I do hope that one day it stops coming back altogether. Forever.
I know this is just a matter of a few days and then it will be over for a very long time. So, I'm not over-worrying or anything. But the timing is really bad, you know? Right before exams. Always. Well, of course. Anyways, I'll get by just fine. That I know. But still, I do hope that one day it stops coming back altogether. Forever.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
Friday, April 19, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Always.
Just last night, I was feeling a little mellow. It had been a while
since I had had any communication with the Preacherman. Two weeks seemed pretty long, yeah. I had a really nice evening today and I was feeling a lot better. But then things continued to get brighter. I was walking around peacefully after class when someone called. I looked at my phone to see that the number was unidentifiable and received the call doubtfully.
"Hey buri, what's up?"
I swear I heard those words. It took me a while to believe them. And that was him, the Preacherman. We spoke for twenty minutes. It was just like before; seemed like he had never really left the country. I don't know. It was really nice. And he was infinitely inspirational, as usual, as always.
"Hey buri, what's up?"
I swear I heard those words. It took me a while to believe them. And that was him, the Preacherman. We spoke for twenty minutes. It was just like before; seemed like he had never really left the country. I don't know. It was really nice. And he was infinitely inspirational, as usual, as always.
Monday, April 8, 2013
Magnitudes
Amazing how one does not realize just HOW wrong one had been until one really gets it right. But, by then, it's all good. It's worth everything.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Graduation Glory
A week away from right now, I will be at the graduation ceremony for the O-levels school graduates of our batch. Yes, there's a dress code. Yes, it's very feminine and formal for the female students. Yes, I'm obsessing over the preparations.
Honestly, I'm excited. I don't want to let the fear of approaching exams ruin it for me. I'm planning with my friends, describing my outfit to anyone who would or wouldn't listen. I gave my best guy friend a full account of every bit of description the other day. He groaned and complained, but listened anyway, then even tried to understand.
It's also nice to see the guys getting excited over their tuxedos. And I can't help but think about how everyone will look all grown up. Whether or not we will act that way obviously remains as a whole different question, as usual.
So, yeah. I cannot wait. I hope the evening turns out to be as glorious as it seems in my head. If not more.
Honestly, I'm excited. I don't want to let the fear of approaching exams ruin it for me. I'm planning with my friends, describing my outfit to anyone who would or wouldn't listen. I gave my best guy friend a full account of every bit of description the other day. He groaned and complained, but listened anyway, then even tried to understand.
It's also nice to see the guys getting excited over their tuxedos. And I can't help but think about how everyone will look all grown up. Whether or not we will act that way obviously remains as a whole different question, as usual.
So, yeah. I cannot wait. I hope the evening turns out to be as glorious as it seems in my head. If not more.
Feminism?
I have been meaning to write a post about feminism for a while. And
today I just feel like it. No, this isn't a rebellious post where I
preach about women's power and rights. I doubt this is even about
feminism. This is just a thought, in all its simplicity.
I have seen guys who treat their girlfriends like shit. I have seen them trying to dominate and overpower their significant others, not giving much significance at all.
I have also seen guys who treat their special women very specially. I have seen these gentlemen put their respective special ones above everything else, always trying to grant every wish and make all dreams come true. Then I have seen these very men treat everyone else around them like scum - and in less extreme cases, simply as unworthy inferiors.
If asked, I would fail to decide which category is worse. The first kind is abuse. The second is merely deception. At the end of the day, I honestly don't know which I'd hate more.
When dealing with the first kind, if I was the victim, well, what can I say? It would be like living under oppression every hour of every day. And how can one live like that?
And, as for the second kind, I'd be a lucky girlfriend. But what if I wasn't the girlfriend? What if I wasn't even the crush? What if I was someone who just knew the guy? I'd be treated by him with little or no importance even when I deserved better than that. And if the lucky girlfriend is happy with a man like that, wow, good luck for the future.
I see many people around me - several guys who think of women as their inferiors, and many others who believe in equality.
The thing is, when we women want feminism to be promoted, we're NOT asking you to give us a chance to dominate over you men. We're not asking to be superior to you. All we're asking for is to let us have as much as a chance as you do. Let us be an equal part of the important things. Give us a chance to make a difference, a positive one.
I'm not just talking in terms of affairs and commitments here. But that did seem like a good place to start.
I have seen guys who treat their girlfriends like shit. I have seen them trying to dominate and overpower their significant others, not giving much significance at all.
I have also seen guys who treat their special women very specially. I have seen these gentlemen put their respective special ones above everything else, always trying to grant every wish and make all dreams come true. Then I have seen these very men treat everyone else around them like scum - and in less extreme cases, simply as unworthy inferiors.
If asked, I would fail to decide which category is worse. The first kind is abuse. The second is merely deception. At the end of the day, I honestly don't know which I'd hate more.
When dealing with the first kind, if I was the victim, well, what can I say? It would be like living under oppression every hour of every day. And how can one live like that?
And, as for the second kind, I'd be a lucky girlfriend. But what if I wasn't the girlfriend? What if I wasn't even the crush? What if I was someone who just knew the guy? I'd be treated by him with little or no importance even when I deserved better than that. And if the lucky girlfriend is happy with a man like that, wow, good luck for the future.
I see many people around me - several guys who think of women as their inferiors, and many others who believe in equality.
The thing is, when we women want feminism to be promoted, we're NOT asking you to give us a chance to dominate over you men. We're not asking to be superior to you. All we're asking for is to let us have as much as a chance as you do. Let us be an equal part of the important things. Give us a chance to make a difference, a positive one.
I'm not just talking in terms of affairs and commitments here. But that did seem like a good place to start.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Monday, April 1, 2013
Everything =')
So, you go out with a guy, jokingly pretending you're just getting to know him, when you've already known him for almost five years. You run around, annoy each other, laugh like maniacs and do crazy shit that make passers-by oddly stare at you. Then you two plan a marriage, a perfect, crazy one, and laugh at yourselves for doing so, but you both simultaneously hope to make it work someday. Then you finally end the awesome date, hoping to see each other again.
And immediately, right from that moment, you begin describing your date to your best friend while he advices you to continue seeing the guy.
At the end of the day, when you think about how it is all that same one person, you can't help but be amazed. If this isn't Infinite, then what is?
~ And would you tell me how could it be any better than this? ~
And immediately, right from that moment, you begin describing your date to your best friend while he advices you to continue seeing the guy.
At the end of the day, when you think about how it is all that same one person, you can't help but be amazed. If this isn't Infinite, then what is?
~ And would you tell me how could it be any better than this? ~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)